So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
