in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There r osticjed everywhere
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
