Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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