I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my being single is dangerous.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
