I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
