Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He shit in the fireplace
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
