Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
