I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
