oh god the rape fog is back!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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