just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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