she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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