OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
