11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize