whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
