Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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