found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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