fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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