in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
