I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
