Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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