guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
