Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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