I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
