Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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