Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
