And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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