I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
