I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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