What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
