just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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