Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
