This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
