Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I intend to get homeless drunk
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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