Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
