did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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