wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
