Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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