If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I understand Curling. That high.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
