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You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
