Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
