So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
