So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize