Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
