no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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