I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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