So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize