He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize