Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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