You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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