return my video game
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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