There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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