Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
