I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize