the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
