I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
