brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
