how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
