Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
