Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
