is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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