the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
