glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
