That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
