so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize