508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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